My crystal ball.

.

One day as I looked into my crystal ball,
I saw you and I found my beat to stall.

With closed eyes I searched for the one face I found dear,
Hoping, in all its grace and innocence it was still there.

So far away, no I could not see the face,
But I knew it had lost the innocent eyes.

Something in me silently wept,
Seemed like someone close had left.

I knew I had made a mistake again,
A part of me lay bleeding, another lay slain.

It was then I wished, if I had not fell
Not to my nightmares, not to yours as well.

I need rest, need to sleep, but
There are nightmares I still have to beat.

I looked outside, at the sun and sighed,it wasnt night yet,
There was still distance I had to run before they met.

As the day rises anew, and the dark night decided to stay,
I yearn for the grace of you, I ask the smile on lips to play.

My time slips slowly as each breath assures what I feel
To entrust into me, just once, I pray I kneel.

If there is a chance to turn back, turn away, turn
And try not to look as I smash my crystal ball, ...and let the world around me burn.

.

A blind man's map

The sun called from the hills, it was day again...
Reminded me I was alive, breathing and still sane...
With my weakened limbs, and battered heart...
I moved out , moved out from me into the sun...


A new sun had come, it knew nothing of my sad past...
Laughed, tried to make merry, make smiles, make love...
I forced a smile back, thus lied to the bright sun...
The stars knew I was untrue, a liar, a heathen...


The stars were too shy, they never faced the sun...
My lie remained hidden in me, my untrue smile...
In me for a hundred years, and a hundred years more ...
Until...

My eyes betrayed me, they spoke of false me...
Revealed my smile false, and the pain I hid in me...
They looked up to the sun and showed no fear...
The Sun was furious, it blinded my eyes, blinded me...

The clouds called from the hills, it was raining again...

Reminded me I was blind, calm, silent and in slight pain...
I could see nothing, Not the drops from heaven...
Neither the drenched forests, nor the wet plains...


A face hovered in front, a face wet with rain and tears...
Eyes closed or open, the face refused to dissolve, it cried...
A face I had betrayed, a face I tried to forget, a face...
From my yesterday, it found its way following a golden trace...


My limbs took charge, they ran a wild race..
Above the mountains, across the valleys...
Tried to get away from the crying face in vain...
The Sun was a stranger now, the rain my enemy...


On a hanging cliff, I sat down to rest, to realize...
From years till date, I hated the crying face...
I learned to love a sad face, to make it my own...for..
The face was now the map of the world for blind me...